Attachment Parenting and Discipline

The question of discipline is one that comes up frequently in any parent’s mind.   Well, in most parent’s minds!  To tell you the truth, when I sat down to put together this section of my website, I had to think long and hard about the topic of discipline, for a very simple reason…

 

Being an attached parent, I am incredibly in tune with my son, and he with me.  Discipline is not an ISSUE with us.  I’m not saying my son is a perfect angel.  He is rowdy, creative, mischievous and prone to “accidents”.  However, first and foremost, I value the expression of childhood learning, and whenever possible, I let my son explore his environment in a safe and watchful manner.  Do I mean I let my son run amok?  Not by any means.

 

What I mean, first of all, is that my house is structured as a “kid friendly zone”.   There are no tempting knick-knacks or one of a kind paintings that my son can get into.  These have all safely been put in storage (ya right, storage by their original owners until I get the money to BUY things like that!) or out of reach of my little one’s wandering and very coveting eye.  There are gates keeping him from where he may not go, or doors that remain closed and locked or childproofed keeping him out of “No Zones”.  This way, he can run about freely and explore the things that are left for him to explore.  This means, in our house, that I leave my Tupperware cupboard un childproofed - because what a discovery for him!   So I have to put the Tupperware back 5 times a day some days, or admire my own colander on occasion when he brings it to me with an awed, “Look at DIS Mama!” 

 

When we go places that are not designed as kid friendly zones, like most of the world, Wal-Mart and the local Pier One, DISCIPLINE is not the issue - watchfulness is.  I do not expect my son to keep his hands off things.  That is how he learns and especially how he learns in our house.  If he wants to touch the Franklin Mint Egg on Aunt Lizzie’s coffee table - unless she removes it from his sight, then he may - with me “helping him” to touch it in a nice manner and explaining to him how we handle things like that.  At 2 years old, I cannot expect him to control his impulses well enough not to touch it.   I have to help him learn HOW to touch it. 

 

Attachment parenting lends itself to well “disciplined” children simply because it lends itself to mutual understanding.  The most discipline my son needs is a firm, “No, we don’t do that because….” every once in a while, and a  bit of redirection.  

 

Attachment parenting promotes trust on a deep and instinctual level for =both children and parents.    Discipline and well behaved children DO thrive on trust and authority.  My son knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am in charge.  Why?  I meet all his needs, I listen to his and respond to them, showing him that I am a capable leader and to be TRUSTED by him.  Children that trust you will look to you for cues on how to behave as well as for their needs both physical and emotional. 

 

For those of us with older children, check out this great eBook on the G.O.L.D. method of gentle and positive parenting and discipline HERE.  You can also check out my Teenage Parenting 101 eBook for teens. 

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