Dealing with ADD & ADHD
Dealing with ADD or ADHD can be difficult. In fact, most people have no idea what it is like until they have experienced it. They may look at your child and think they are just excitable, hyper or worse - misbehaving. I know, I have a daughter with ADHD. One of the worst things I remember is my grandfather suggesting once that I should just "beat her butt" more often.
Well, you know as well as I do that this won't work. Children with ADD or ADHD have trouble focusing, and they are not going to be "re-focused" or "cured" by physical punishment. Yelling at them, hitting them, separating them from peers, etc, does not work.
What does? Well, the change has to start with the parent first of all. You need to learn to be direct with your child, making sure first and foremost that you actually HAVE thier attention while you are speaking with them. Get down on their level, look them in the eyes, state your request and then ask them to repeat it back to you. Then, after a minute or so, ask them to repeat it again, and repeat this as often as necessary until they actually remember what you have said to them.
Have patience. These kids are not easy, but they are also sensitive. They know they are not behaving right, they just cannot seem to help themselves. I remember my daughter asking me one time what was wrong with her. She said she felt like her brain was just "not right" and that she had a "problem". It made me want to cry right along with her. So I explained to her what ADHD was, and that she needd to take special steps to try to remember what she was supposed to do and to learn to control her impulses.
Get second opinions as well. Don't be eager to put your children on medications, as these often have harmful and disturbing side effects. When I tried putting my little girl on medication, she ended up in the middle of the kindergarten lunch room tryign to stab teachers with a fork and screaming incoherently. It was terrifying.
The best advice I can give is to keep in mind that these children have a disease. You cannot spank it out of them or yell it out, you have to help THEM to overcome it.
